East Grove Blues

I have started doing my paperwork for leaving Japan without burning any bridges on the way out. There are far to many papers, that are mostly confusing and are all very much making me worry. I hate doing paperwork, it seems like such a waste of time and yet I can see it’s need. (Pay check and whatnot) I am paranoid I will forget something important and/or not turn in everything on time and I won’t be able to leave when I want to. All in all it’s turned me into a mess this morning.

The worrying and paranoia started seeping into other area’s as well. I starting worrying about my internships and whether I will be able to do them. It then moved to diet and exercise and if it is all really worth it. it basically sent me into this downward spiral of idiocy. I know that I shouldn’t really bother about it and that everything will turn out all right in the end. I shouldn’t have a care in the world right now, but sometimes I can’t help myself.

I just have to ride the wave of emotion and hope for it to settle down. I try to look at it from an objective point of view, as if it isn’t happening to me, but to some other poor soul. I don’t think it makes it any easier, but it does give me some perspective and understanding. I know what is causing it and I know it will go away in time. I just have to be patient with myself. Writing things out generally helps my mood a bit, so I hope this gets it out of my system a little quicker.

I felt terrible on friday as well, but I bounced back and felt great several days after. Today I feel awful and fate willing I will be back on top for the rest of the week. Emotions are such strange things.

Side Note: (possible other cause of frustration) I slept poorly last night and my gums bled this morning. It may have been the school rice or the green tea or just about anything. I guess I won’t know anything for sure until I can just cook for myself everyday.