East Grove Blues

My internet will be shut off tomorrow at some point so I won’t be posting anything for a while. I will still be checking my e-mail in town in case of emergencies but other than that I am disconnecting from the web. I hope to continue that at home. The internet is a wonderful tool for me, but like TV it should only be used in moderation.

I have been slowing down my posting over the last couple of weeks and I plan to move to a more weekly schedule, or even twice monthly. Hopefully the posts will be a little more thought out than my previous ones. I will try to stay updated on my current events though, especially all that will be happening this spring.

I just watched the movie Where the wild things are and I was thoroughly impressed.

The sound track was really well done. The acting was fantastic and the special effects were perfect. I don’t know how they did what they did but it was fantastic. It felt like I had walked into one of my own dreams.

It really makes you think about the different aspects of yourself and how you confront those or how you ignore them. It is a great way to illustrate the need of each person to sit back and see what they are doing and how they affect other people.

I think this is a great movie about childhood and what it means to really grow up. In such a short time you can really watch the kid mature as he sees the consequences of his actions.

I also think this is a great children’s movie. It has adventure, imagination and danger. More importantly it was smart, mind blowingly so. If you haven’t seen it already then I would recommend it. I wish they had more children’s movies at this level.

I have started doing my paperwork for leaving Japan without burning any bridges on the way out. There are far to many papers, that are mostly confusing and are all very much making me worry. I hate doing paperwork, it seems like such a waste of time and yet I can see it’s need. (Pay check and whatnot) I am paranoid I will forget something important and/or not turn in everything on time and I won’t be able to leave when I want to. All in all it’s turned me into a mess this morning.

The worrying and paranoia started seeping into other area’s as well. I starting worrying about my internships and whether I will be able to do them. It then moved to diet and exercise and if it is all really worth it. it basically sent me into this downward spiral of idiocy. I know that I shouldn’t really bother about it and that everything will turn out all right in the end. I shouldn’t have a care in the world right now, but sometimes I can’t help myself.

I just have to ride the wave of emotion and hope for it to settle down. I try to look at it from an objective point of view, as if it isn’t happening to me, but to some other poor soul. I don’t think it makes it any easier, but it does give me some perspective and understanding. I know what is causing it and I know it will go away in time. I just have to be patient with myself. Writing things out generally helps my mood a bit, so I hope this gets it out of my system a little quicker.

I felt terrible on friday as well, but I bounced back and felt great several days after. Today I feel awful and fate willing I will be back on top for the rest of the week. Emotions are such strange things.

Side Note: (possible other cause of frustration) I slept poorly last night and my gums bled this morning. It may have been the school rice or the green tea or just about anything. I guess I won’t know anything for sure until I can just cook for myself everyday.

So earlier this week I decided I was spending far to much time on the internet. Mostly I would have little I needed to do and instead of being productive in music or stretching I would waste my time cruising the internet. I came to the conclusion that I just needed to turn the stupid thing off and do something else.

Well my wish came true. My internet is down and I am not really sure why. I came home yesterday and my dsl line just won’t connect. I am pretty sure I have paid all my bills so I don’t know why this would turn off. I tried everything that I knew and nothing is working. I have waited and still no results. As much as I waste my time on the internet I also do some productive things there as well. Case in point: I can’t check my e-mail to know what I am doing for work. That is really bad! I checked my mail yesterday night on a friend’s ipod and thought I had my schedule. It seems the file had many layers that I couldn’t see or know how to check. I came into the school today with the wrong day’s lessons planned. I have been able to wing most of it, but the day isn’t over yet, so who knows how well it will go.

I didn’t realize how frustrated I would be by not checking my e-mail and other typical internet sites. I have gone from too much to too little. I hope I can get it working again today, otherwise I will be without e-mail indefinitely. The only reason I can update now is because my schools server hasn’t blocked my website.

After Christmas I had a nice lull before going out for New Years. I enjoyed the time spent around the farm. My favorite days were those when Dad and I wondered around the timber identifying trees. It made for cold hands, because I kept having to look in my book, but it made for warm thoughts and interesting ideas about the farm. There is so much there that I just don’t understand and that I never saw before. It was always just full of trees, I could maybe guess I few of them, but I didn’t know what they did or why they grew where they did.

New Years ended up being much like the year before. Annie, a friend of mine I met by chance a few years ago, and some of her friends went out. I was still on an anti-biotic so I volunteered as the DD. We had dinner in Burlington where I had a huge steak but could only eat about four ounces of it. We went to Fun City, which wasn’t that fun, but was big enough to be a city for me, and then went to Fort Madison. There we hit the usual haunts and actually listened to a pretty decent live band. All in all it was a good evening.

I traveled up to Chicago and saw some friends, and made it back to Iowa for the bowl game. By then I was tired of people. I was happy to see everyone up near Chicago and I look forward to seeing them again when I get home, but by the time it was all over I was exhausted. Three weeks of constant socializing had left me feeling pretty tired. The spent the remainder of my time relaxing and talking about my future plans to everyone.

I was really surprised by the outpouring of support for my ideas. In fact it was a bit overwhelming. I have spent the last couple of weeks trying to ground myself and get myself on the right path to future job prospects. I have a lot to learn in the next few years if all goes well. I’ve been known to change my plans though so I am trying not to get to far ahead of myself.

Remember everyone, I need criticism! Without it I become to idealistic. Justin helped me remember that today. I need to stay realistic and within my means. This doesn’t mean I can’t dream and be ambitious. I just have to take careful steps along the way. I have a tendency to build up to much only to not be able to finish what I started.

Well its time to play catch up on all the blogging I didn’t do over break. So this will be one part in a multiple series.

It took me two days to make it back to America from Japan. Which wouldn’t be so bad, but I didn’t sleep well either days. I didn’t have any problems though. Security was fine, except when I forgot to throw away my water bottle in Chicago. That made for a fun five minutes or wondering why they kept looking at my bag in the scanner. I made an earlier flight home from Chicago so I can’t complain any. I made it back to the farm without any problems and I had a lovely night with my family before heading out early the next morning.

The next few days were really fun but mostly a blur of activity. I was jet lagged and tired from not sleeping very well. I ate Taco bell for the first time in several years and paid dearly for it, but oh was it delicious. We got our tuxes and some good beer, we had the rehearsal dinner and all that whatnot. I was a bit loopy and a little drunk for most of everything.

The wedding itself went off without any problems. There was a nice covering of snow on the ground. The decorations were amazing. I loved the stark beauty of white and silver. It was all really well done. The food was great as well. I ate so well it was ridiculous. The church service was well done and very pretty. It went faster than I was expecting for a Catholic wedding, which was nice. I started to fade during dinner. I was tired and all I wanted to do was curl up in a little ball under a Christmas tree and sleep the night away.

I resisted that impulse and got myself going with some peppermint schnapps. The rest of the party is what you would expect I guess. Drinking, dancing and chatting with old friends and even some new ones. I thoroughly enjoyed myself the entire night. I think one of the highlights of the night was the Pabst Blue Ribbon shaped cake. That was just brilliant!

The next day I hung around for the present opening. I just wanted to hang out with Karisa and Jonathan without the big crowd of people and any expectations. I was hung over and tired and needed a break. My third day back and I was tired of people already! It was a nice relaxing day and good end of the first part of my trip.

I am on the road again tomorrow. I can honestly say that I am not looking forward to the long haul back to Japan. I know I will be back soon, but I’d rather not have to go anywhere. The time should fly by though and I should say good by to everyone.

When I get back to Japan I will have time to comment and go over all that happened in the last three weeks. I haven’t had the time yet. Until then…

So I decided on a title for my blog. (For now at least)

It comes from a song from Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee. Its called ‘Walk on’ and its about being a lonely traveler and wander around until you walk your way back home. I really need to learn the song so I can play it.

I have to apologize for the long wait between posts. The site had issues with spamming and then problems with being updated. Strange random characters and all that nonsense. So hopefully in the next few days I can clean up what is left of the problems and start over again. My hope is to continue posting and all sorts of random things. Mostly my thoughts and what I am trying to accomplish at the moment.

So today I am heading back to the bush, which will be nice, because I have spent far to much in Niamey the last month. Tomorrow the directer of West Africa is coming to visit my post. My villagers are excited to meet him, and they fixed up the grinding house, so it was two birds with one stone. Team Gotheye is having a party with the Brazilian missionaries next Monday and that will be fun. Good food, and me entertaining them with my banjo.

The big event for me is in a couple of weeks when Tom comes to visit. He is arriving in the morning of the 19th and staying for a week. I can’t really convey how exciting that is and how much I look forward to saying TOOOOOOOOOOM. It will be a busy week! He is coming during the end of Ramadan, which is also during our harvest. So it will be the only time of the year, when it will still be green, and their will be lots of food, and a lot of partying. It won’t really seem like the Niger I know, but it will be one of the most culturally rich times of the year. He picked a good time to come!

Until then I will be sitting in my house, playing music and discovering the mysteries of the universe.