East Grove Blues

Time seems to fly by, and my ability to write seems to have flown as well. In my typical fashion I have gone from writing to much to not enough. These gaps in my life are hard to recreate, and I will defer the job to some sad angel in heaven who might have that task. In short, my life is up and down, and perhaps even a little side to side.

I have found tremendous joy in the act of scything. I couldn’t explain it all to you, but I can at least give a try. Imagine moving your whole body in a single fluid motion, while swinging a beautiful piece of steel, iron and ash to the soft sounds of it cutting blades of grass. It is the same joy I get from running, swimming and yoga. It is body, breath and no mind. You are just there, with the task before you and all that you have accomplished behind you, and yet there is only the cut. It is a work in spiritual attainment that I can never reach when I try to meditate or pray. When your done you feel like you have done something worth while. The smell of fresh cut grass and clover reach your nose in the most pleasant of fashions. You are sweaty, happy and tired.

I have thrown all cation to the wind and started running again. My internal bits be damned. I am tired of being careful, fearful and all around lethargic. Can you tell a dog not to chase a rabbit? And if that dog is trained how happy is it truly? I have chosen the only way I know how to get better. I choose to will it into existence. It could just be an act of futility, but at this point I have little to loose. I will just get better, there is no other choice. I will be me and nothing else.

Family keeps me awake at night in a futile sort of way. I know things will get better, but it will take time. All I can do is hope, hope for all of us for something better than what we have. Family has also made me intensely happy as well. Future plans are coming together and decisions are being made. I have spent too much time looking far down the road and not towards next year. I sincerely believe things will fall into the place they need to. They always have in the past…

Which leaves me in a sort of bewildered befuddlement. If only I could explain it better. The moment right now while I wait for dinner and have done my chores for the day.

After a some very interesting dreams and a thorough cleaning of the system this morning I am feeling much better. In fact I feel pretty amazing. My energy levels are back and I have a general feeling of euphoria that is not that common. It’s like I had a cold yesterday and felt horrible, and today the cold is gone and I feel like I could conquer the world.

I had a much needed night by myself last night. I got a little walk in and I did some internet research. The research was fruitful and has helped me in my my mood and well being. The internet is such an amazing tool, but like all tools it can be dangerous. I have to remind myself of that so I don’t get carried away by someones opinions that are not actually based in facts. That is part of the reason I got carried into the mess physically that I am.

This is my current theory and is subject to change. It seems that I trained to long and to hard, like three to five hours everyday to hard. I upset a careful balance and I am paying for it now. I worked so hard that it is likely that I was deficient in many vital vitamins and nutrients. That is not a good way to stay healthy, and I didn’t. I am attempting to reverse the effects with better diet and proper exercise. It might be a while before I run for two and half hours again. A half hour yes, an hour maybe, but no longer. It’s not needed and it does more harm than good. Sometimes it takes a whamping for us to know our limits. I have repeated this process more times than I would care to admit.

There are some things on the emotional side as well, but I am not willing to go into those until after I work through them. As seriously as I take them, it shouldn’t effect my everyday mood or how I will act towards people. I tend to keep my demons to myself until I can work ‘em out. I am sure they will find a way out here after a while, but I am not ready for that kind of openness or what it might mean.

I had some cool dreams last night that really helped to identify a lot of the issues I am/need to work with over the next couple of months. I don’t know what it is about my dreams but them seem awfully prophetic to me. Perhaps I am reading into them to much, but anything that can help me be a healthy stable individual is welcome.

I have Yoga tonight and that always makes me feel better. If I feel any better I might just start dancing.

The title is a really bad pun, but I will have to get to that later. It was better than Fantastic Fun not eating until Friday. That seemed long and a little boring so I went with the shorter one.

Now that I have put you to sleep I can continue to the actual topic. I fasted again today. So far I am setting into a fast every couple of weeks or so. I am not putting a schedule on it, mostly because I hate doing that sort of thing. I want it to stay a fluid thing and to not let my body get too used to the act. I can’t say whether fasting is fun or not, it is definitely interesting and in that way it can be enjoyable. It is a battle of will, and anytime you win than you are usually going to have some sort of happy feelings.

I had the day off so that is why I choose today. Having it today seemed logical, because there would be no other stresses on me besides not eating. I wouldn’t recommend trying to fast when you have deadlines to make or school kids to teach. I couldn’t even imagine how unbearable that would be. I, being the person that I am, added stress to my fast by running. Which is how I came up with the title. I know it is lame, but I couldn’t help myself.

It seems like a silly thing to do when you are not eating food, but it was actually rather nice. First I went for a nice slow walk. Then I took a nap. Afterward I did a nice paced mile run. Lastly I sprinted/walked for about ten minutes. All the while I was wonderfully barefoot and very happy about it. Running barefoot in the grass is one of the best, most freeing experiences in the world. I felt fine throughout my walk-run and my hunger even disappeared for a couple of hours. I mean no hunger at all, like I had had a decent meal. If that is normal than I will walk-run the next time I fast.

I had a little trouble at Onsen later on in the day. This happened during the last fast as well, so I was not surprised by it. Really hot water and no food makes for a very dizzy me. I just had to remember to take it slow and to not spend to much time in the bath at once. This is good advice for anyone, and it is good to have it reinforced, because sometimes I tend to forget.

The not eating part of the fast was much easier this time. I think I was more prepared for it mentally, so I had much less trouble during meal times. I knew I wasn’t going to eat, and no matter how much I wanted to give in I just wasn’t going to do it. I can wait until tomorrow, it is not going to kill me. In fact I have been cooking all night. I have taken to having fish and vegetable soup with my morning meal, and I finished the last one off on Wednesday, so tonight its back to cooking. I will admit to tasting the broth, but I haven’t partaken in anything solid. That is an amazing feat for me.

Tomorrow will be back to normal and I am looking forward to my morning banana!

Monday and Tuesday were a little rough for me. Not anything especially bad, but a sluggishness that wouldn’t go away. I felt heavy and tired all the time, which is terrible if your trying to motivate yourself to get outside and workout a bit. I am not sure what brought it on. Perhaps it was because of the fast, or perhaps it was because I started eating again. I am not really sure yet what it was. I felt pretty good during the fast, even energetic at times. Even with the sluggishness I did work out a bit the last two days, but I couldn’t really push myself. I couldn’t go above and beyond the relatively simple. It was frustrating to no end.

As always Yoga helped. After Yoga yesterday I was starving, even though I had eaten a large dinner. I decided to go ahead and eat again, and then again. I couldn’t seem to fill my belly. It was like my system finally kicked into gear. I only got about six hours of sleep last night but I woke up relatively rested. I felt good this morning shoveling my drive way at five in the morning and I felt good skiing with my kids at elementary school. I felt strong again after a short workout in the gym and I feel alive right now after running barefoot on sub-0 pavement outside my house. I even did a couple of sprints to really get the blood moving. It is so much fun jumping over ice and dodging rocks while I run. I have to pay attention to every movement or I end up with sharp pains from rocks in my feet. When I run barefoot it is no longer a strait line, but a curvy line that is ever so much more fun. Even with paying attention and even though I have only been running short distances, I still have managed to get a blister or two. Nothing to keep me off my feet or even from being mostly barefoot all the time.

I was browsing through the Daily Show website and saw a link to the Colbert Report about an upcoming guest that does the Paleo Diet. It’s really interesting and I might even try it. I remember my friend Tom mentioning it to me a while ago but I brushed it off because I was assuredly thinking I was already on the best diet. I still get on my high horse and ride it, something I need to work on.

Anyway the diet is similar to mine except more meat and no grains. I already like to eat mostly fresh fruit and veggies, so all I would do is get rid of the grain. Not eating bread would be hard, because I really like bread, in all its forms!  Most everything else I am already doing; spend as much time outside as you can, run barefoot, be active and fast. I have to thank Tom again for some idea’s on fasting, he has been doing it for ages. The whole point of the diet, even though I would consider it more of a lifestyle, is to go back to what we are designed to do. We are good at several things: running, eating and having sex. Those are in fact what we are programmed to do and it is hard to fight programming. A lot of times we have to go a long period, some longer than others, without one of those things. Surprisingly though, we are as good at not doing as we are at doing, but now I am loosing myself.

So I don’t know yet whether I will try the Paleo diet. It would be hard seeing that I eat rice almost everyday at school. Here is a website with a bunch of links if you are interested. http://paleodiet.com/

With the new year comes new things for me in running. I started running regularly about two years ago. Before that I had run on and off, but never as consistently as I have in the last couple of years. My running has definitely changed along the way. At first I was into the big clunky things they call running shoes. These are fine if your running on a nice soft grass trail through the timber. They are not so nice on the hard pavement of Japanese roads. After a few months of being in Japan, and training for my first half-marathon, my knees were very angry.

So last year I switched my shoes and my running style. I went to lighter shoe with a lot less tread and I went from a heel-toe strike to a middle of the foot strike. This saved my knees but caused its own problems at times. Because I still can’t feel the ground I have a hard time placing my foot at times. I end up torquing the leg slightly, which leads to shin splints. If you have ever had them you know how painful they can make running. I only get them when I have been running long distances consistantly. I ran my second half-marathon last year without any knee pain and only a little from my shins.

This year I am evolving again, or devolving if you will. This year I am forgoing the shoe. This will be a slow build up. At first I have to build up the calluses that protect my feet from nasty little rocks. Large rocks are easy to avoid, little tiny ones hurt more and get stuck in the foot. This is a small price to pay for the feeling of barefoot running. It is exhilarating. You feel free. I absolutely love it. I have started walking barefoot outside. Right now the cold hurts far more than the rocks. I am taking it slow. When I want to run I head to the school gym. The floors are cold, but not too bad. It isn’t as exciting as running outside, but it is a start. I have to rebuild the muscles in my leg to support myself when I run. It’s amazing how quickly your body will change. It won’t be long before I am running three to four miles, and this time without shoes and without pain.

Another fun thing is the reaction I get from people. I always get double takes if they notice my feet. I wish I had enough Japanese to explain to them that humans went without shoes for a couple of million years and they seemed to do just fine. Shoes are a recent invention, and while they protect your feet, they also cause their own problems, most of which aren’t worth it. I wish I could go barefoot at school. That isn’t a line I am willing to cross yet.

So I am back to work. I had over a month of not working and now it’s full force work again. I forgot how busy I am during the week. I got home yesterday and before I knew it, it was time for bed. I can’t complain any though, getting back into my old routine can only be good for.

I like my work, but I am starting to feel that feeling that says I no longer really want to be there. For example, I was going to my second school of the day and I hoped that no one would be there. That has actually happened to me several times, so it wouldn’t have surprised me. It turned out to be a really fun afternoon and I’m glad we had class. The problem is that the more that feeling comes the less happy and more grumpy I am going to get. That’s not good for me or my students. I am basically going to have to shut up and buckle down.

I ran for the first time in over a month the other day. I am terribly out of shape. My lungs hurt and my legs were sore and I barely ran a mile. I could have gone farther, but I know better than to push my body when its not ready. I have to start off slowly. What is good about the situation is that it is like starting from square one. Square one is good when you want to transition completely to barefoot running. My legs, feet and lungs can all progress at the same time. When one is better than the others than I end up hurting myself and pushing myself to hard. I am avoiding that as much as possible so it’s good that I suck at the moment. I know I will improve and that’s the important thing.

I did my normal exercises yesterday and I am way sore today. I was able to do the initial reps just fine, but doing them three times turned out to be impossible. The muscle is there, the endurance is not. That will come back pretty quick though so I am again not really worried about it. It just felt good to be doing something physical again. Once you stop it’s really hard to get motivated again. Going back to school and having free time between periods was just what I needed to get back into the swing of things.

I like to run. This seems weird to me since I used to hate the act of running. It was painful, time consuming and ultimately humiliating. I was slow, I was out of shape and I was not going in any good direction physically. This was in high school and most of my college life. It’s true that I did run a little in college, but I hiked more than anything, and that is not quite the same as running.

I didn’t start running until after college. It was a slow process. I could barely run a mile without being winded. I eventually worked my way up to two miles and finally four before I left for Africa. I would have continued to run in Africa, but it was hot. Way too hot to do much of anything but walk. I did a good deal of walking in Africa, untold miles of it, but like I said, walking isn’t like running.

I started running again when I returned home. I don’t know for sure what my mileage was, but my longest run was about fifty minutes. I am going to guess that is around five miles, maybe a bit less. While I was running more, I was still running slowly. What was worse was that I was running incorrectly. I wouldn’t correct that until much later. I stopped running the summer before I left for Japan. I was going to Yoga four days a week and working on the farm. I had to cut one of my activities out and running was taking too much out of me.

When I moved to Japan I had to give an introduction to all of my schools. In my introduction I said one of my hobbies was running. At the time this was only partially true, but afterwards it became reality. For the first time in my life I really was running regularly. Not only that, but I was running for extended periods of time. Within four months of arriving I had trained and ran in my first half-marathon. I had never run for 13 miles before in my life. It was amazing, but it was taking its toll. My knees started to bother me during training. Something was wrong. I found out right before my half-marathon that I was running in a very bad way. I wanted to change before the marathon, but I didn’t have the time to build up my muscles in the right places.

I stopped running for about month last winter. My knees were angry at me and I was trying to run in a new way for far too long. I came back to running with a more correct form, but it was still off. My shoes were hampering my ability to run the way I wanted to. It was frustrating. I knew I could run farther, but my body wasn’t complying. I made a huge mistake. I trained to hard to fast and I end up messing up my Achilles tendon. I couldn’t run for three months. I was devastated. Just when I thought I was a runner I hurt myself. (This, after I think about it, is what most runners do nowadays) After I got over the initial torment of not being able to run my life changed yet again.

I couldn’t run and I couldn’t hike, which are two activities that had become a large part of my life. What was I going to do? It was then that I started biking and later on swimming. These two activities opened up worlds of new opportunities. I was able to train without straining my tendon. After my leg finally healed I continued to do cross training. All of my activities complement each other and keep me from over straining anyone of them. (Without swimming I doubt I would be running at all right now)

I ran in my second half-marathon this year. I cut off over eleven minutes from my previous time and I was able to do it in much better form. I am still a ’slow’ runner, but I think slow is alright; especially if it means I stay healthy and not injured. If I run fast, it’s for a short period of time and not over long distance. I enjoy the act of running, so why ruin that by trying to kill myself?

I will talk later on the correct form for running, but to put it in a nut shell it means running barefoot, or like you were barefoot. My last two runs have been barefoot, and both of them were about three miles. I have read on numerous websites that running barefoot doesn’t cause blisters. They are full of shit. My feet are fairly tough, but for some reason the pavement near my middle school turns them into a blistery hell. Don’t get me wrong, I prefer running barefoot. It usually feels really good. I recommend it to anyone, especially if you want to stay injury free. I haven’t had any knee problems since changing my running form, and if I would have been smarter I would not have had any injuries or blisters. Like any change it is best to do it slowly. Training to hard to fast is not good!

To emphasis that point, tomorrow I will be running on grass and dirt. If I can’t handle the pavement then I better had not run on it for a little longer.

If you ever get a chance, and aren’t into running, try walking barefoot. It might change your life.